Friday, September 28, 2012

letting your guard down

Don't do it....

We as type one diabetics can never truly let our guard down... as sad as that is, it's life. I was reminded of this last night at about 1am....

I don't test at night much anymore... I guess I've just gotten cockey, I wear a dexcom... I hear it when it starts vibrating... I havent had a creepy stalker low in months... why should I check at night. (Duh, cause you never know whats going to happen!) Last night I had my mom come wake me up to test at 1am cause I was 342 (uggg) when I went to bed...and I really didn't want to be that high all night.

Well at 1am I was 80... no big deal right? I almost told my mom we could go back to sleep because I'd eaten and I was sure I'd come up after eating the better half of a banana... thank God I didn't because I was in the fifties five minutes later (do the math... that's crazy dropping!)

Well long story short, I didn't get back to sleep until 2am..=( and then I went up to 250+ and dropped back down to 110, then woke up at 196.... what a night!

So the moral of the story is, we can't take a break, we can't have the night off, we can't let our guard down... and maybe that scares me, but going to bed at night and not waking up scares me more.

Friday, September 21, 2012

Stress

Stress is a pain in the butt, but adding diabetes into the equation of life makes it just a little bit harder (or a lot harder) So when two weeks ago I had foot surgery to have a benign soft tissue mass removed (Gross=O) it put my body under some stress... then when a week later when we found out that it should have closed up... but didn't, it put my mind under some stress=( Then when they called and told my mama that I had a staff infection in the wound.... yeah I was pretty freaked out=(

Now I have a cold... and last night (into this morning) I've had two bad sets in a row (One that actually alarmed at me... which like never happens)

So in the past two weeks, I've had almost constant highs... (yeah that's great for the stupid foots healing process) and have gotten up a minimum of four times every night chasing dexcom alarms.....

I'm tired... and stressed... and sick... and worried.....

But I'm not stopping, as diabetics giving up isn't an option... and while that makes us very strong people, it also makes us sad some times, and frustrated, and tired, and angry. I can't tell you how to fix it... I don't have the recipe for emotional success... just a three step process that keeps my head from falling off.

#1. Put in head phones with really great songs (Ingrid Michelson... Jack Johnson... Needtobreathe)

#2. Block out the world (How every I can... shopping at target... writing... what ever works)

#3. Pour my heart out to God.... because when you get to that place where you're to tired to breathe, and you feel like you can't go on, their arn't words to describe how you feel, how much you hurt, and what you want. But God can read my heart, I can close my eyes and just curl up next to Him in a strong tower...

Sure, when I open my eyes, my bg may still be high, and I'll still be tired and sick... but I won't be alone, I'll have a friend by my side who knows how I'm feeling even when I don't.

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Hello DOC=)

Hello Diabetes community, my name is Jess and I'm 17, I've been a type one diabetic for two and a half years and a blogger for almost that long=)

You might be wondering why I started this blog... well I started the Blog Faith injected a while ago but most of my readers were friends and family who were not diabetes people;-) and honestly I felt I couldn't be honest because many of the people reading what I wrote didn't really understand diabetes and I was worried about getting judged.

So anyway... hopefully I'll feel better about blogging here, and won't get harassed by people who just don't understand what we (PWD's) go through everyday.